Who I Am:101

It seems there is some confusion as to the kind of person I am. People tend to be slightly shocked when I share some of these things with them, but it's pretty much always been this way, for the most part. So I'm going to clear some things up so there's no more fuss and it's all out in the open. And when the children are sleeping what else is there to do?

-I have never had a Krispy Kreme donut. Not from the actual store at least, and those little donut holes from the gas station don't count.
-I document everything with pictures, including food (my camera has a food setting) and injuries. If I have a kickass bruise, which is eh, every week or so, you can count on it seeing it on Facebook.
-If I could walk barefoot everyday, my feet would be some happy campers. I wear flip flops, pretty much year round, because it's as close to it gets to being barefoot and I'm still allowed in Walmart.
-But as much as I love being barefoot, I do love my heels. And Toms. If you don't have a pair, I definitely recommend them.
-I don't like vegetables. At all.
-You couldn't pay me enough to watch Jersey Shore. Other shows/movies everyone else loves that I hate? Harry Potter. Teen Mom. The entire Twilight saga.
-Most of my closest friends are teenagers, but most of them are more mature than the adults I know.
-I was baptized on Halloween. I love how much of a contradiction that is.
-I like feet. Not in a weird, fetish, gets-me-off sort of way. But I think mine are quite cute.
-I think I could eat Cheeriohs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
-My life is pretty crazy right now. I'm broken, shattered, and torn, inside and out, and it's not changing anytime soon. Sorry if that's not good enough for you.
-I don't like ice cream. That's a recent development... I used to, like every normal human being. But not so much anymore.
-I put whatever is on my mind on Facebook, whether it's sappy, happy, bitter, or angry, swear words and all, even if I am friends with my pastor, his wife, church people, my parents, and my grandmother. It ask's "What's on Your Mind?" and I really don't want to lie to Facebook.
-I'm a Facebook junkie. Not ashamed of it.
-I prefer Sour Patch Kids over any kind of chocolate, any day of the week. Except the orange ones. I don't eat orange Skittles either.
-I will put make up on and fix my hair just to take a picture.
-I love concerts. Well, music in general. But there's something extra special about seeing the amazing musicians who always know exactly how I'm feeling and make those lyrics come alive on stage. One day, I will crowd surf.
-I am a virgin. Yep. Reread it as many times as you want, it's not a typo. I'm not ashamed of it, but I don't let it define me either. Ain't no thing.
-One day, I will live in a big city with noise and smog and angry drivers and pollution. I love it all.
-As much as it pains me to say this, because I do enjoy living on this planet, I could really care less about recycling and going green. I know, bad American.
-I sleep on a couch. And pay rent for an apartment I don't live in. Twisted, maybe, but for now it has to work.
-I'm probably one of the messiest, disorganized people you'll meet. Just check out my car and the room I don't reside in.
-I already have my wedding planned out. Just need the groom.
-I Google movie endings. I don't like to be surprised. If someone dies, I want to know. It has to have a decent ending, or I won't watch it.
-Same goes for books. I always read the last page or so.
-I can't look at the stars without thinking of somebody. Nighttime breaks my heart.
-I love to be in the rain. Standing, dancing, whatever.
-I want to be a man for a day. No lie.
-I'm terrified of ferris wheels. And the dark. And horses. And sometimes, ducks.
-I would marry Beaver from Greek. Or Chase from Army Wives. Or both, then we could have our own show on TLC. Brother Husbands?
-I was kicked out of school. Ok, so I wasn't "kicked out" per se, but it sounds much more badass to say kicked out than admit I lost my scholarship money because my GPA plummeted after having the worst semester of my life.
-I think my grandparents have the best love story ever. Just ask me.
-My family puts the FUN in dysfunctional. Trust me on this one.
-I have no regrets. I've made mistakes and there may be things I would do differently, but I've learned from every experience, good or bad, and don't regret a single thing.
-I'm always sick. Not I get sick a lot or I get what the kids I'm with have, I'm ALWAYS sick. Perpetually ill.

Serious and silly, this is the gist of me.
 Can you say you're really surprised by any of it? :))

days.

Do you remember that day we had? It was early on, in the beginning of things. We watched movies.We sat on the roof. We played in the rain. We skipped rocks and jumped into the overflowing, and most likely toxic, creek. Nothing had topped that day.

Webster defines perfect as a complete. Total. Absolute. Being without defect.

Flawless.
That day was perfect. The epitome of perfection, in every way. I think about that day all the time: the childish things we did, the ordinary details that made the day extraordinary. How the day made me feel, how you made me feel. How you still make me feel.
Days like that are hard to come by, especially now. To be absolutely, 100% happy for an entire day. To find the mundane, everyday things to make you content. To just be. And be happy. I miss those times. I miss you.
Part of me wants you to read this. To read this, and remember how happy we were. How we worked so well together. How we could do nothing and be completely content with that. How every moment, hour, day and night with you were the definition of perfection. Part of me wants you to know that I think about it everyday, that I didn't forget, and that I never will.

The other part of me doesn't ever want you to see this. Because that part of me knows that day doesn't mean anything near to you what it does to me. Because I never meant anything near as much to you as you did to me. Because the only thing getting me through is making myself believe that that day crosses your mind, that I cross your mind. That you think about me as much as I think about you. That you feel what you say you did. That you didn't actually break your promises.
That I still matter.

Because I know the truth, deep down.
I just hope that day meant something to you, something similar to what it still means to me. Something amazing. Untouchable.

"Just don't think that this will be easy. Saying that you love me when lying tongues are clumsy. And don't speak when one more word will kill me. Saying that you love me when lying tongues are clumsy. And who am I to say that every breath we take won't be another pointless kiss we gave away? And what we love we burn. It's from the ashes we all yearn to be the phoenix that rises from up from the flames."