Do you remember that day we had? It was early on, in the beginning of things. We watched movies.We sat on the roof. We played in the rain. We skipped rocks and jumped into the overflowing, and most likely toxic, creek. Nothing had topped that day.
Webster defines perfect as a complete. Total. Absolute. Being without defect.
Flawless.
That day was perfect. The epitome of perfection, in every way. I think about that day all the time: the childish things we did, the ordinary details that made the day extraordinary. How the day made me feel, how you made me feel. How you still make me feel.
Days like that are hard to come by, especially now. To be absolutely, 100% happy for an entire day. To find the mundane, everyday things to make you content. To just be. And be happy. I miss those times. I miss you.
Part of me wants you to read this. To read this, and remember how happy we were. How we worked so well together. How we could do nothing and be completely content with that. How every moment, hour, day and night with you were the definition of perfection. Part of me wants you to know that I think about it everyday, that I didn't forget, and that I never will.
The other part of me doesn't ever want you to see this. Because that part of me knows that day doesn't mean anything near to you what it does to me. Because I never meant anything near as much to you as you did to me. Because the only thing getting me through is making myself believe that that day crosses your mind, that I cross your mind. That you think about me as much as I think about you. That you feel what you say you did. That you didn't actually break your promises.
That I still matter.
Because I know the truth, deep down.
I just hope that day meant something to you, something similar to what it still means to me. Something amazing. Untouchable.
"Just don't think that this will be easy. Saying that you love me when lying tongues are clumsy. And don't speak when one more word will kill me. Saying that you love me when lying tongues are clumsy. And who am I to say that every breath we take won't be another pointless kiss we gave away? And what we love we burn. It's from the ashes we all yearn to be the phoenix that rises from up from the flames."
Hey, Shauna. I'm sitting here in my first block with nothing to do, so I decided to look at your blog again. (: I just wanted to tell you that I love you! and I know that things are tough. I know that things can turn out really messed up sometimes, but I also know that, with every change, you have to change. If you go through your life stuck on something that happened in the past, then you can never truly move on. I learned that in my first block, actually... we read this book called "Who moved my cheese?" It sounds stupid, but I promise you it's really good. It basically taught me that when things change you have to accept that change, and change with it, otherwise you end up spending your whole life in the same situation. You feel like you shouldn't move on because it wasn't right for that to happen to you, and you're right, it wasn't. I'm not saying you should completely forget what happened. That's too hard, but if you look at what happened, and say that you're not gonna let it get you down, and you're not gonna let it control your emotions, you can learn to move WITH the change. To accept it and learn from it. I know I may be wrong about the way i'm looking at this post, but I hope I helped a little bit. (probably not. haha. :P) But I do want you to know that you are amazing and beautiful and you have so much going for you. I LOVE YOU!
ReplyDelete-Tricia Anne <3
i hate how it won't let me follow you with my blog. i either have to have a blogspot (which i used to, but i didn't like it) or email. erg. :/
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